I'm drinking coffee out of zebra. No joke. My friend Tara found these safari themed mugs at the world market and one day, the four housemates each had a different animal. This was several years ago now, but as I sip out of this awkwardly amazing coffee container, I get brought back to the glory days of our college lives. My point here is that as I sip out of the zebra, I'm staring out at the rain from my very own apartment. That is something I have never been able to say before.
Its mine. And it feels strange and decadent.
I've managed to get most things back together again after returning. There was a point I thought, for sure, I would not be able to pull it off. To get my feet under me again. And its been a grueling, spirit breaking experience. By now I'm so used to getting rejected for jobs that I can guess exactly what the email says before I read it. I did find one though, a job. And it pays the bills...barely. Its hard not to feel behind. As friends and I get back in touch, they have good jobs, careers, engagement rings, 401ks. I have a Honda with a hole in it and very little idea what I should do with my life.
I'm on my own timeline though. I have to remind myself. It feels good, the opportunity, the vastness of choice I face each morning to not feel defeated, but determined. Determined to chase down whatever awaits, and create it into something unabashedly respectable and beautiful.
